Articles

Friday 11 November 2016

The death of queer theory. Gscene Magazine. Charlie Bauer Phd. December 2016

So, with Brexit and Trump triumphant, I hereby announce (because I’m drunk and
have every right) the end of queer theory. I would like to thank Judith Butler, Eve
Kosofsky Sedgewick, David Halperin…


I’m sorry - I’ve left so many people out but hey – that’s my idea of democracy, not
yours.This goes out especially to everyone who Googled ‘What’s the EU?’ the day after the
Brexit vote, particularly the LGBTQI ones who have contacted me directly to tell me
why. Here’s a quick lesson for those of you who fell asleep during your ‘all fees paid’
state university education.


Queer theory comes down to this;
The world is run by heterosexual white men.
Governments, banks, systems of law and everything else that effect your life.
They are perceived as a ‘majority’ because we apparently live in a democracy. This
makes everyone who isn’t a white heterosexual man therefore an outsider, or lets say,
peculiar or, lets say, for arguments sake - Queer.
Hang on professor Bauer, you say, I’m not a queer! Well, if you’re reading this far
you probably are - even if you’re not gay. Or Lesbian. Or Trans, or Intersex, or
Bisexual, or.. hang on, I’m sure I’ve missed someone out here…
So, everybody outside this SWM demographic is queer. But hang on professor Bauer,
there must be some within it, who are ‘other’too?
See what’s happening? Think this way and the ‘majority’ begins to shrink.


Let’s take everyone who isn’t identified as a white heterosexual man and see how big
the queer ‘other’ majority becomes shall we? Lets take out, the gays, the lesbians, the
Blacks, the Latinos, the transgendered, that angry white women, the disabled, the
HIV positive, the socialists, the capitalists, the racist homos, the Angelinos, the
communists, the beggars, the Haitians, Somalians, Syrians, Syracusans, the global
poor, the tree huggers, the goths, the writers, the home helps, the street fighters, the
nursing staff, the delivery boys, the dole office workers, the lame, the quick, the
dying, some Brisbanians, the dust bowlers, their Asian counterparts, the Sapphics, the
destroyers, the lovers of dogs, the haters of meat, the sly voters, the liars, the crimson
faced survivors, the so called legions of terrorists living within us, the Sicilians, the
East Enders, the lovers of Apartheid (those were the days…) the angelic faces of
every Tory, the guilty mothers of a bourgeois drug overdoser, the Kenyans, the
Mexicans, the grateful survivors, the wandering lost, the deceived, the Albanians, the
well read Nazis, the street cleaners, the hoppers down in Kent, the Mexican
revolutionaries because a war can never be won, the shameless, the dancers on
slutboxes, the wanton religious right, the Buddhist in a bare room, the woman baiters,
the gun-runners, the constitutionalists, the flagrant haters, the disenfranchised, the
coke dealers, the saddened face of a saddened Europe, the biscuit makers, the lying
fags who are in it for their own ego mania, the dead, the dearly departed, the lost, the
babies, the Columbians, the post-structuralists, the petty-thieves, the sad children of a
war, the sadder soldiers hunting them down, the essentialist, the Chinese, the numbertattooed
survivors of another war, the joyful, the East Anglians, the women, the dying
journalist in new media, the wrongfully convicted, the drowning, the East-Enders, the
condemners of hate crimes, the amputees, the frowning brexiters, the ruling majority,
the old punk-rockers, the druids amongst us, the pained, the ignorers, the
macraméists, the murders in Syria, the Swiss, the Casablancans, the unarmed
refugees, the Crowleyists, the soothsayers, the war wounded child, the Clinton voters,
the limbless veterans, the Manson family, the jarring polemicists, the
infrastructuralists, the omnivores, the class activists, the monarchists, the lap dancers
of days long gone, the political somnambulists, the rapists, the Viet Cong, the
Darwinians amongst us, the Luftwaffe, the shambolic, the ordered, the tidy, the
whores, the New Yorkers, the Twitteres, the murderers, the teaching assistants, the
journalists, the fly by night air BnBers, the townspeople, the horsemen, the women
selling ice cream in Red Square, the North Koreans, the Chicagoans, the fex-ex guys,
the rat catchers, the left of centre priests, the criminally insane, the groaners, the
loners, the stoners, the recently bequeathed, the drugged, the cross-dressers, the twins,
the spinally inept, the cravers of many a lost cause, the Angolans, the Cantonese, the
Shaking Quakers, the Jazz magicians, the hippies, the nerds, the hard-hitters, the
vegan rich, the bootmakers, the potters, the farmers, the Women of Greenham
Common, the tortured, the injured, the elderly, the hod carriers, the whistleblowers,
the volatile veterans, the unnamed dying, the Guatemalans, the immigrants, the
shepherds, the braying Catholics, the misbegotten, the needy, the bricklayers, the
newscasters, the chicken packers, the right, the left, the haven’t made my mind ups,
the slow, the mean, the cowardly, the fat, the lonely, the overpaid and the underfed,
the carpet cleaners, the gas man,

No comments:

Post a Comment