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Wednesday 11 June 2014

Monday 2 June 2014

Homonormativity is a virus. Bauer. Gscene Magazine. July 2014


Homonormativity is a virus     July 2014       GScene Magazine
 Hang on, what’s all this about using wet wipes on homos? Agh. According to research somewhere in Eastern England last month (or the month before, sometime), the heterosexually defined needed to cleanse themselves when they were in any contact with a homosexual. Why didn’t I think of that? Because, maybe we are of the same filth.
Let me explain, firstly, I’m not at all knowledgeable in any of this. I lied myself though one degree and bought my PhD online from the University of Throckmorton, Texas (best $300 I’ve ever spent). What I can gather in between bumps of K, is that a few spotty straight identifying teenagers were asked for their reactions if they had to borrow a phone from a gay man and they said they’d rather wipe their arse with it. And? Then some Spanish students were asked would they rather accept a pencil or a Wetwipe in the same circumstances. They chose to wipe.
I still have a problem with, for example, Latin cultures and the proliferation of anti-gay sentiment through the Christian scriptures handed down by closeted priests to underpaid and overworked parents. My parents were almost the same but northern white-trash Catholics. I’m sure, like my parents, they thanked god daily that both school and the church (which were comingled) existed so that they could get the kids off their hands and earn some money to feed the little sods. They had no thoughts about social complexities and homophobia, they assumed that their kids were straight because they themselves had never met anyone gay.
Then some Polish students were offered the same test and, front to back, wiped away. Ditto the above but now with the political ataxia of communism thrown in. Yet another ‘Homophobic’ doctrine tossed at parents who have missed the modernist boat of social reform. Probably this is why their children are choosing a British education in the first place.

"Metastasizing through the rhetoric of their leaders into the ears of children"
It seems pretty inconclusive on a conscious level; the parent cultures embedded identities in political doctrine and the church - despite any heteronormatvity or homophobia thrown in - have influenced their own children’s fear of the queer. Nothing else. Metastasizing through the rhetoric of their leaders into the ears of children.
As a sometimes fellator, sometimes drug-fuelled top, sometimes prizewinner in local Macramé contests, I will not take any of this seriously. After all, I’m sure most of these badly-formed students who are rich enough to leave their motherland for a cheap English education, are in for a rude awakening. Losing that deep entrenched primitivism is bloody hard work. I know it; I come from a good, solid British working-class culture whose parents never read a book and a place where a hippie told me not to say the ‘N’ word when I was fifteen.
When it comes to issues of contracting HIV from phones and toilet seats, actions speak louder than words. I’ve snogged all of my positive friends, even when HIV didn’t have a name. And let’s face it Diana kissing the AIDS patient did more for the love and care of the ‘soon to be dead’ than any of Thatcher and Saatchi’s AIDS campaigns ever did. Any studies around this are moot. In the so-called, most 'primitive' societies of central Africa with all the western strangulation of expensive medication, they have no choice but to use the same equipment as the dying. These messages are still sent through idiot parents, cultures, religions and political doctrines, where the homophobic slurry still seeps.
I think the most fascinating theory, the reference for which I’ve got written on a Post-it near the cat tray and can’t be arsed to get at this point, is that gay men collectively think we’re all a bit 'ikky'. Gay men will always think that, we love it. The one remaining right we have is that we can be judgmental and laugh it off. I know groups of gay men who pay handsomely for some of the ’filth’ that we are supposed to do to each other. No social meaning involved. And some of them don’t even wash their hands afterwards before calling for pizza.
As Bifuria D’sconza recently said, “When everyone realised it’s white, straight men that have screwed up the planet; everyone else - faggots and clown faces too - grouped together to knock those assholes down. Sista - Homosexuals ain’t the problem. White, male, bankers are. And the governments that feed them too. I thought everyone knew that. Where you been livin?”
Some friends of mine just love waking up in their own vomit after being dragged, face down out of Legends at 3 AM.  They go back again and again and who can deny, what is to them, such an important part of their identity. How many times have I ended up in a piss club and sobered up with the texts from friends the next day calling me all the dirty scrubbers under the sun? How many times have I just laughed at such filth and got on with my daily, unconscious homo existence. We don’t scorn ‘filth’, we accept it. Because, as Lola once said, ‘that’s just how we are’.
Filth, like homosexuality, is not a mutable platform for the degenerates and there is no way we can bend – whether the Nazis are pounding at the door or not. To suggest that we can change decries the fact that all those queers killed in the Holocaust had some form of choice in the matter to 'man up.'
Here we have spelled out what homophobia isn’t. It’s not about gender policing or anything else. It’s about getting rid of essentialism within political doctrines and religions spewed from the primitive masses and the conservative men (hang on, they’re the bankers aren’t they?) and replacing it with homonormativity, its’ sworn sister.
Twitter: @charliebauerphd

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